Traditional wedding proposals, especially between heterosexual couples, are still seen as a man’s job, even as other societal gender norms relating to marriage evolve.

Dr Vera Hoelscher, a lecturer in our Department of Marketing, has co-published an article on The Conversation with Daniela Pirani (Marketing Lecturer, University of Liverpool) and Ratna Khanijou (Lecturer in Marketing, Goldsmiths, University of London), exploring their research into gender equality in marriage proposals.  

The act of the wedding proposal is steeped in tradition, with society still expecting the man in a heterosexual relationship to take the lead. Despite this some women do choose to propose, experiencing a range of reactions. In the study conducted by the researchers these included criticism for breaking tradition, accusations of emasculating their partners and blame for spoiling the “magic” of a proposal.

Drawing on the experience of this group of women who did propose to their partners, as well as exploring ideas through online and social media means, the researchers found that many women approached the occasion creatively, using unconventional gestures like personalised gifts or playful props. They also discovered that online communities have become a source of support and inspiration for women choosing to move away from the script and break this taboo. However, women proposing remain caught in a double bind—socialised to value marriage yet judged for taking the initiative, reflecting the deep-rooted traditional stereotypes still followed in this area, even as some women seek to challenge them in the name of equality.

The full article is available here.